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I Knew It

Jan. 24th, 2010 | 10:48 pm
location: in the living room
mood: blankblank
music: Blame It by Jamie Foxx

I knew it. So stupid stupid stupid of me. History repeats itself. It's time that I listen to my instincts. Thing is, what I do about it. And that's what I don't know.


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I am not Happy

Dec. 30th, 2009 | 10:15 pm
location: in my room
mood: depresseddepressed
music: the laptop's hum

I am angry, frustrated, depressed, hurt, and everything else except happy.

I hate where I am right now. I hate that there are too many expectations riding on my back right now that I am already cracking under pressure. I hate that I think I'm doing the right thing then all I hear is that I seem to be doing nothing or doing something that is completely useless no matter how hard I try. I hate it that I don't have the right to be angry and disappointed with people who are very important to me.  I hate that I seem to be slacking off. I hate that I'm feeling depressed when I don't have the right to be. I hate that I get angry at every little thing that even remotely irritates me. I hate hearing sarcastic and cynical comments. I hate that I'm writing a sob story right now, because I hate sob stories. I hate being caught in between. I hate that I'm already having difficulty hearing and bearing others' problems. I hate knowing things that I know I don't have the liberty to do something about or even share them with others. I hate it that other people don't understand the difficulties I have. I hate it that other people really seem to have it easy. I hate it that I get angry, frustrated, and depressed at things that are petty compared to what other people experience. I hate it that someone that I found to be so dear to me is going to leave - someone who gave me this piece of advice which is the only thing really inspiring me now. I hate it that I don't want her to leave, because I know she deserves to go and find a place where she and family can start over. I hate it that I can't really be happy for her. I hate it that I'm going to help her pack and experience all the memories that happened between us, since I was a kid. I hate it that I'm having hard feelings towards people whom I really care about - those people who have been with me through thick and thin, those who know me inside and out, those who have really seen me cry and pour out all the pain that I have felt. I hate it that I think they're disappointed with me, but I also hate it that I'm disappointed with them. I hate it that I'm crying right now, and I hate that I have to wait until everybody goes to sleep before I could really cry.

I just hate it all.

Such a great way to start the new year.

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Nov. 23rd, 2009 | 10:28 pm
location: in my room
mood: giddygiddy
music: Lips Like Sugar by Flo Rida

I don't know why but my mind is infested with fluff bunnies lately. For the past three days, all I want to read is FLUFF. I mean c'mon, I thought I've grown up from that stage, but I guess, I just can't get enough of fluff however much I want to. And to think that for the past weeks, all I've wanted is pron. And now, it's fluff. Such a big discrepancy between something so downright dirty and something so innocent and sweet.

I think I'm going to puke.

But, hey! Fluff is fluff! And fluff is love! I want FLUFF!

I really don't know how the infestation started, but I just woke up one day and I felt giddy. AND FLUFFY.

Then I scrounged around for some old fics, and I found the ones that I kept from almost 2 years ago. AND THEY STILL MAKE ME ALL GOOEY INSIDE.

I really must be going insane.


Dammit, even Byou can't drive away the fluff bunnies!

If that's the case, then the bunnies are most welcome!

Oh God, I just got the feeling that I must go and find myself some fluff.


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Stuck in the Elevator

Nov. 23rd, 2009 | 11:51 am
location: in Patsy's house
mood: giddygiddy
music: something from Jun's (ex-UnsraW) blog

Oh the adventures!

So Patsy invited us over to her house, since we have a four-hour-and-a-half break. We bought lunch at Rob and proceeded to Patsy's place.

So we rode up the elevator, and we were all joking and stuff, when suddenly, the elevator jammed, and Patsy was all "shit, I don't want to die."

Then the elevator stopped. The guard started pushing the buttons to see if the door would open, but much to our dismay, it didn't, since we were between floors. The guard told us that it was okay, and it was just a minor technical glitch. Nevertheless, it's still kind of scary to be stuck inside a windowless but mirror-ful and compact box of an elevator. But oh well, being the happy people that we are, we just bounced jokes all over the place, and we asked the guard for ghost stories.

After a series of exchanges between the guard and the technical people, they decided to just open the door, since the elevator is just near Patsy's floor.

And then, the fun part.

Yes, we climbed out of the elevator. And it was just so much fun! We want to do it again! Okay, that sounds strange, but really, it's an adventure!

Then the much more fun part! Of course, being the yaoi fangirls that we are, Patsy and I fangirled over the two guards that helped us out.

The guard who opened the door took the arm of the one that was with us inside the elevator and helped him up.

And of course, fangirls will be fangirls no matter what the situation.

Wow, and I never thought I'd ever get stuck inside an elevator.

Good thing we're not claustrophobics.

Fortunately, we're now safe and sound in Patsy's house.


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Shadwickisms Week 1

Nov. 15th, 2009 | 12:54 am
location: in my room
mood: blankblank
music: Flashback by Calvin Harris

Well, well, well, it seems that Burn's totally not the only OC professor that has the ability to exude epicness!

Meet Sir Chadwick Sy Su, OrCom 155: Organizational Communication Statistics instructor. He's another OC graduate, but he's way way way much more cooler than Burn! He loves animals especially snakes, taking care of cactus, cars, and driving over 200 kph (which is nearly impossible to do in the Philippines). How he manages to drive that fast even on NLEX is something I can't fathom. And he has the gall and guts to take a picture of his speedometer while driving at said speed. I mean, c'mon, it's either you die from a road accident for driving at that speed, or you just can't drive that fast on Philippine soil. Hello, traffic. And yeah, he loves statistics, and well, quantitative analysis, but of course, I reiterate that he's SO unlike Burn.

So what are Chadwickisms (or Shadwickisms, since Sir Villar insists on pronouncing his name as Shadwick)? Well, it's a compilation of all of Sir Chadwick's epic quotes, since he is such an epic person. AND DEFINITELY MUCH MORE NICER AND FUNNIER THAN BURN. But of course, Burn has his own epicness. That little lost burning creature.

But this is Chadwickisms. Let's not spoil it by bringing up that BURNing creature.

I guess I'll start off with a little trivia? Well, he asked the class to introduce ourselves one by one. When it was my turn, I told him that people say that when I walk on the street, I look like I'm going to kill somebody. He laughed and told me that it was okay, then he shared that he grew up around well, street people, and he learned to cuss so fluently. Well, I guess, that's one thing we have in common. I use curse words as expressions. He does too. So yeah, if you hear us curse, don't be offended. It's just our way of expressing ourselves. We really mean no offense.

So let's get on with the Chadwickisms. Sadly, I was too busy laughing to be able to list down all of his quotes, and I must admit that I didn't get to complete some, because, well, I was ROFLing. Here they are!

Oh! News flash! nashi_kanata suggested that I just use Shadwick, so that it's going to be a little bit difficult to search. Okay, Shadwickisms.

"Wala na nga silang kamay at paa, pero kaya ka nilang patayin."
-on snakes

"Masarap silang alagaan kasi isang linggo lang sila dinidiligan."
-on cactus

"Mag-TESDA, mag-embalsamo ng patay, mag-putol ng buhok, mag-kulay, mag-kulot..."
-on technical courses... or something like that

"We go to college to earn us a degree that will give us jobs that pay us with what's inside our minds, not what we do with our hands."
-on college education... Byou, I know what you're thinking, and NO.

"Dalawa lang ang ginagawa ng fear. One, it arouses your fight or flight instinct, or it..."
-on fear... I'm sorry I didn't get all of it. One muse chose that moment to be epic.

"Kung takot kayo sa numbers, takot din kayo sa pera."
-on fear of numbers and math

"I have a good sense of humor. It doesn't. need improving."
-on his sense of humor and his dislike of text jokes

So yeah, unfortunately, I wasn't able to write more, but I promise that I'll pay closer attention to his quotable quotes this coming week. If I could stop myself from ROFLing.

Before I end this post, I'm bothered by Burn's plan of doing an inter-class project. Which means that Burn's 140 class will do a research, Villar's class will do the writing, and Sir Chadwick's class will do the statistics part.

Which also means that being a student of Villar means that I have to both write and do analysis.

What the hell.

What the Burn.


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Shirt Sh*t

Nov. 8th, 2009 | 06:15 pm
location: in my room
mood: annoyedannoyed
music: Just Say Yes by Snow Patrol

I am never going to let my parents buy me shirts again.

That's really a bum decision on my part to get my parents buy me new shirts for the new sem. The reason why I specifically asked them to buy me a shirt and not a blouse is because they really don't know how to pick them. For me. For them, well, they pick real good. I thought that shirts were a safe ground. Apparently not.

And they bought me 2 shirts.

You may not think of me as a fashionista, but I do like a certain style for my clothes. One is that they're really comfortable to wear, since I don't have that much of a wardrobe, and I have to wear them almost everyday to school. Second is that I have a certain style that I like to keep. If the shirt is a statement shirt, I like something witty, not just something ugh, so corny. You'll know what I mean in a little while. If it's just a simple design, I don't go for something ugh, so corny. Then again, my definition of corny is subjective. At least they know that I hate pink.

The first shirt is good. Supposed to be. They got the color down (which is green). But the statement on it was "The Greatest Proof of Love is Trust."


I mean, my Mom have trust issues with my Dad (I'd rather not talk about it though), but pick a shirt like that for ME to wear is just UGH.


The second one is pretty much acceptable, since it's black, BUT it has a peace sign in pink on it. One, I don't like peace signs, hearts, skulls, emo or any other corny stuff. Yes, I have a pretty stupid definition of corny, but you know, I'M THE ONE WHO'S GOING TO WEAR THEM. Haven't they already seen how I dress? That's why I usually don't pick shirts with designs on them. Except for abstract ones. I usually go for shirts or blouses that don't have designs or go in only one solid color but with something else that would accent them.

So yeah, I still have to wear them though. I think I'll grow to like the black one, but the green one, I don't think so. Shame that I like the shade.

Lesson learned: Never ever trust your parents to buy you any piece of clothing.

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Nov. 4th, 2009 | 07:00 am
location: in my room
mood: enthralled
music: FTW by Moymoy Palaboy feat Gloc 9

Okay, have to post lots and lots before school rolls around again. I'll barely have time to post anything once I get back to the grind. Thank God there's no Burn yet. And if things turn out the way that Sir Chong said, Burn and his co-juniors will leave the University next year.

I really hope that they won't leave just yet. I mean, I still want Sir Chong to be my professor for Advertising. I will probably swallow my words next year, but Burn's a really good teacher, and I hope I would get to experience him in Argumentation and Debate. Damn, I WILL swallow my words and also probably hit my head on the wall when he unleashes his fire on us. But oh well, who said things should be easy?

So I already saw my Anthro grade, and I hope it will help pull up my grade. I'm not optimistic on my other subjects, since OrCom professors tend to be sticklers for giving out high grades. Hell, my Speech 137 exam went to hell. Hell yeah.

On to other things, I already finally finished New Moon after several months. I think I started reading it on January? I don't really remember. Then I stopped after 10 chapters, because my eyes are getting strained from looking at the computer monitor for hours on end. And it's quite bothersome to have to wait for my laptop to boot before getting to read the e-book. And knowing me, by the time my laptop finished booting, I would have lost the urge to read New Moon and play games instead. Fortunately, nashi_kanata let me borrow her copy. Which she lent me over 7 months ago. Yup, it sat on the shelf for 7 freakin' months before I had the urge to read it again. And note, I wouldn't have read it if it wasn't for the power outage last weekend due to the typhoon. Oh well, at least I got to read it before the movie's shown.

So. New Moon. The reason why it took me so long to read it was because I got pissed off at Bella's stupid suicidal tendencies. I mean, sure, Edward may be a guy to die for (quite literally, I guess), but I dunno, I just find Bella's emo moments so irritating. I must admit that the story picked up when Jacob came around. Yes, I'm team Jacob simply because I don't like lead characters. I go for the supporting ones. They make you think of what they're doing behind the scenes when the leads go out and well, make fools of themselves. Ehrm, back to Edward, Bella, and Jacob. So yeah, I love Jacob! You know, he's really a guy a girl could go for. He's nice, fun, a good listener, and he really cares. But later on, Jacob became too hmmm, I don't know quite the word. The Tagalog word comes to mind, but I can't think of the proper word in English. Anyway, I guess he became too possessive? I do understand though. I mean, who wouldn't when it came to the person they like? And he was mean at the end when he betrayed Bella to Charlie. And well, there were just times when I wanted to kick Jacob's ass for making me hope that he was such a great guy. Never mind that he's a werewolf. Personality comes first. Oh well, so much for the love triangle.

Overall, I think the book was overrated, but at the same time, it redeems itself by having that adrenaline-pumping run to Volterra and of course, the epicness of Edward's character, and most importantly, the awesomeness of ALICE. See? I love supporting characters! They give so much love, and ehrm, support! 

Time to read Eclipse! If I get around to it, I guess. Which means, I'll finish it a year from now. Ehehehe.

On to other things. I am practicing a few parts of Eternal Silence, and there's one part where the shifting from chord to chord is quite fast. I could probably get it with much practice, but I think I found a way to make my life easier. I was just experimenting with the chords, and I found that I don't need to shift several times during the sequence. I could just shift 4 times when the original score showed me that I had to shift more than 10 times during the sequence. I tried a little something with the strumming, and it worked! I didn't have to shift chords much, but it sounded the same. I'll still have to ask Shun if that's okay, but I think it's great that I don't have to kill my fingers much. I mean, I'm already stretching my fingers to the limit so any help is just great.

Hmmm, I just listened to a song by Moymoy Palaboy featuring Gloc 9. Yeah, I don't care if that sounds grepa or baduy to you, but I think it's a great song. They are geniuses. Gloc 9 is a freakin' genius. Moymoy Palaboy started out on YouTube lip syncing to songs, then they were given an opportunity to be shown on TV. Now, they are also recording artists. And I must say, they did a terrific job on this one. The lyrics are just great. And the music? It's amazing. It's such a good break from all the other mainstream OPM songs. This one is just so different. I think that with the trend of OPM today, there are those few artists who are making such awesome songs. I totally love this one. If you have heard FTW, then you know what I mean. FTW is just awesome. This is one song that will be stuck in repeat on my Winamp for days to come.

So that's it for now. I'll have to run and catch breakfast. Yes, Byou, that is Aoi for you.

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Guitarist + Guitarist = Bassist *Compare and Contrast!*

Nov. 2nd, 2009 | 11:03 am
location: in Aoi's pocket
mood: amusedamused
music: Sexy Chick by David Guetta feat. Akon

Ever notice Aggy from Deluhi? Does he look like a certain combination of two guitarists in particular?

Think harder.

Squint harder.

Try Gazette. Then Screw.

See it?


Aggy looks like the son of Aoi from Gazette and Manabu from Screw.

Do you have trouble seeing it?

Take a look at this:


Yes? I swear, Aggy really looks a lot like his uhm, father? Yeah. There are times where they both have the same hairdo and almost the same look.

But then, when Aggy moves, let's just say he inherited that from Aoi. He's like a manrier Aoi! He's Aoi with a bass. Really. He moves those hips just like his mother's. Damn. Hips. I so have a weakness for guys whose hips can move around so well.

But but but! I have this pic here where Aggy really got the Aoi vibe:

              lookie over here            

Sorry, Aggy's pic is a bit small. He's there, the one on the far left. Looks a lot like his Mom right there, ne? They practically almost have the same hat and outfit.

Hmm, Mom and Dad are being busy. In more ways than one.

So does that mean that Manabu and Aoi are.................

Wait, so many muses are glaring at me all at the same time!

So, whatchu think? Yes? YES?

P.S. Compliments from nashi_kanata who introduced me to Aggy and made me realize that he indeed is Aoi and Manabu's son. Also, thanks to her awesome powers of sharing to me the Aggy-Aoi-vibe pic!
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Which Alice Nine Member are You? *stolen from Lala*

Oct. 28th, 2009 | 05:39 pm
location: in my friend's house supposedly doing her report
mood: blahblah
music: Gradation by Alice Nine

Which Alice Nine Member are You?

My Result: Nao
View user's Quiz School Profile
You are the drummer Nao!
You can be shy, but outgoing once you know a person well.  You are very unique.
Quiz SchoolTake this quiz & get your result

I'm NAO?????????? Ohhhh, someone might kill me.

But but but.... I'm not nice! I may be cute -gets struck by a bolt of lightning- but I'm not -shudders- innocent!


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Happy Birthday!

Oct. 25th, 2009 | 06:32 am
location: my room
mood: awake
music: Money Honey by Lady Gaga

Oh, and a happy wappy birthday to my parents who are both celebrating their birthdays today!

And happy happy happy birthday to bestie Liz who turned the same age as me two days ago!

Happy happy happy birthdays! *cough* treat! *cough*

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